Chain Reaction
by verbal acuity
Summary: EliClare - Clare can't sleep when Eli's in her head - ongoing.
1. I can't control, it's you I'm craving

**Disclaimer**: Degrassi isn't mine. Neither is the song. 'Chain Reaction' is property of Ke$ha (I am so sorry for using a Ke$ha song. Random, huh?)

**A/N**: I was told by Aradiea that I owe her big time. So, I guess this is me making it up to her? XD IDK. This was meant to be a oneshot, but I kinda want more than one chapter, so. Yeah. Sorry it's short. I hope you like it!

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CHAIN REACTION

Lord help me. It gets worse every time I see him, every time those eyes bore into my very soul. I have to pray three times as much now, just because he told me how stunning I look in fitted jeans. I don't think I can even look at Eli anymore, it's embarrassing how bright my face turns when he smirks that... arrogant, smug, dare I say sexy? smirk. I think he lives to make me squirm, to get a reaction out of me. And believe me, it works. Somehow, Eli Goldsworthy's got me under a spell that I can't shake, under feelings I can't explain. And all he's doing is replaying these inexplainable actions and tripping me further.

It gets hard to sleep at night. Thoughts of him plague my mind when my lights go out, when my eyes close. Thoughts like, what would happen if he came to my window, just once, and tapped gently to get my attention, this late at night - two-thirty in the morning, precisely, because this is how late he keeps me up at night - and when I opened that window he'd say to me,

"May I come in, Clare?" like in the vampire stories I love so much. And my heart would stop, my mouth would go dry, and all I'd be able to do was nod and step aside, eyes wide and questioning, begging. He'd always seem to know what story my eyes told, and he'd always deliver, lips pressing softly yet firmly to my pale neck as he worked me backwards onto my bed, silently.

"Eli," I'd rasp as his sharp teeth grazed my throat, knowing what was to come, waiting, anticipating. I wanted it, so bad. Then, as the points of his teeth would begin to puncture -

_Beep!_

My wide eyes travel to the clock: three-twelve, I shouldn't be awake right now. I sigh and reach for my Bible, the one that stays on my nightstand next to my bed. I hold it close to my chest and steady my breathing. _Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned..._

_Beep!_

I blink and sit up. My laptop is still on? Who would be awake at this ungodly hour? Besides me, of course. I shouldn't respond, though. I need to get some sleep, and hopefully not dream about a certain green-eyed vampire sneaking into my bedroom and - _Stop it, Clare!_ I groan and lay back, Bible in hand, curling up in my blankets. A content sigh slips past my lips as only darkness lurks under my eyelids. No Eli. Thank you, Lord.

_**Beep!**_

I almost screamed. Was it just me, or did that particular one sound violent? That's it. I place my Bible back where I found it, throw my blankets off of me and walk to my desk. I move the mouse and the screen lights up, coming to life. Whoever's been instant messaging me better have a good reason -

**eli-gold49**: what are you doing awake, gorgeous?

My heart skips a beat, my face flaming hot.

**eli-gold49**: too busy for your lonely English partner? ;)

I bite my lip to hold back a laugh. He could be really cute sometimes, though if I ever said that to him, his ego would fly through the roof. But the next thing he said, the one with the violent beep...

**eli-gold49**: don't make me come over there, Clare! I won't wait for you to invite me in. don't doubt my commitment.

"Lord," I whispered, eyes closed. "Lord. Please. Forgive me, for I have sinned," I spoke the words over and over.

_Beep!_

I looked at the screen.

**eli-gold49**: I'm coming over.

_**eli-gold49 has just signed off.**_

Lord help me.

* * *

_I feel like I'm hallucinating_

_Yeah you're tripping me out_

_I can't control, it's you I'm craving_

_I can just tell you're down._


	2. have I seen you before? once in a dream

**Disclaimer**: Not mine.

**A/N**: YAY CHAPTER TWO. XD I hope this one's good. I feel I'm slipping the more EliClare I write. What say you? ROFL.

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IF ONLY

In anticipation, I sit in my bed, Bible clutched tight against my chest, blanket keeping me concealed. My eyes are fixated on my window. It's been twenty three minutes. Still no sign of Eli. Maybe he's not coming. My eyes flicker briefly to my computer on the desk, back to the window, and now staring at the lamp. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and reached for the lamp to shut it off. I was shaking.

As soon as the lamp was off I quickly covered my head in my blanket and shut my eyes as tight as I could. If I just pretend none of that never happened, I can sleep with minimal guilt. Just have to clear my mind -

_Tap, tap._

My eyes shoot open, but I don't move, for fear of my murderer knowing I'm here. Steady your breathing, Clare, if you're still he won't hurt you...

My window opens. The things I forgot to do before I climbed into bed tonight are going to get me killed. I always lock my window before I get ready for bed. Act natural, like you're sleeping, like there isn't a serial killer in your bedroom, waiting for you to make one wrong move and you're dead. I could almost laugh. I'd been seeing Eli too much, thinking like he would in that morbid mind of his...

I couldn't help a blush. Always thinking of him. What would he say if I died?

"Clare."

Lord help me, my murderer knows my name. All I had left was a prayer.

My blanket was pulled from my face. Eyes widening, tears blurring my vision, I opened my mouth to scream. Nothing came out. Something was covering my mouth, something cold. I blinked the tears away and came face to face with the most amazing green I'd ever seen in my entire life. It practically glowed in the dim light from the moon. Eli. And he was smirking.

I was quiet, but he still didn't move his hand away. "Told you I wouldn't wait for you to invite me in." Smug as always. UGH, he makes me so mad!

As soon as his hand was gone I sat up quickly and smacked him in the arm, hard. "You...!" I was fuming with anger, didn't even know what to say. I pulled my hand back to hit him again, once for being smug, and second for _scaring me_! But his fingers wrapped around my wrist and held it in a vice grip, keeping me from anymore violence. I groaned and tried to wrench it away. His grip didn't let up.

"I knew I was good, but damn, I left you speechless?" With a smirk like that, I might as well pass out right here from lack of air to my brain. He released my wrist and I quickly pulled it back to hit him. He was quick, though, and grasped it in an even tighter grip than before. "It's not very nice to hit people, Clare." But that smirk never faltered.

"Yeah, well it's not very nice to come into a girl's room through her window without her consent and scare her into thinking she's going to die!" I said, all in one breath. That took so much out of me, I'm so tired. My eyes wandered to the clock: three fifty-eight. Oh Lord.

He practically snickered. "I know you saw my instant messages. You were probably," his fingers unwrapped from my wrist and softly trailed up my arm, to my neck, "bright," and lingered at my lips, "red," he finished with a heartbreaking smirk. "Just like you are now." His fingers curled into my hair, tugging softly here and there. "But what I want to know," he said, moving closer, "Is why you weren't responding?" His breath was on my neck and I shivered.

"I -" It was so hard to breathe with him so close to me. Especially after that dream. That very... vivid... dream. I didn't even have an excuse. What did he want me to say? He'd know what was going through my head if I told him I didn't respond because I was praying.

His smirk, if possible, grew wider. "So am I to assume you didn't respond because you wanted me here?" He's too arrogant for my own good. He pulled away, much to my relief, much to my disappointment. I couldn't help these feelings. "Well," he said, standing up. "To be honest, I came here because I wanted to see you," he answered my un-asked question. "But I can't keep you up forever. Looks like you've been too busy daydreaming about me to sleep," he joked, not knowing the full truth of that statement.

I didn't know what to say as he walked away. I couldn't even move, though I wanted so bad to stop him. But I knew all too well that there is no stopping Eli Goldsworthy.

I looked away and a sigh fell from my lips when I heard the window close. He was gone. But I could still feel him. His touch lingered on my wrists, his breath lingered on my neck. All that I had left was the very thought of the perfect bad boy in my room in the middle of the night, glowing in the moonlight.

My Bible clutched to my chest again I cuddled into the blanket and -

Suddenly there were lips on my neck, my wrists held in a tight grip at my sides. My eyes opened wide and were locked with too-bright green above me. I was at a loss for words. This was just like...

The lips against my neck moved and I gasped. They upturned into that crooked smirk that stops my heart. _Forgive me, Lord, for I am sinning right now..._

The bed moved, and Eli was on top of me, holding me down as if I planned on moving anyway. This felt so good. Like my dream. Not even the Bible, that was pulled from my hands and placed back on my nightstand, could keep me from wanting this. _I'm sorry, Lord. Forgive me._

He pulled away, eyes shining, smirk smug as ever. I bit my lip. My face was so hot - my _body_ was so hot, it was getting hard to breathe. I could still feel his lips, trailing my collarbone, making me shake and shiver and - dare I say it? - _moan_. He knew what he was doing to me. He knew what affects he had on me from the moment we met, the day he ran over my glasses. Would this be happening now if we didn't meet that way? If he didn't crush my glasses? Surely we'd still be in the same English class, but would he affect me so much if he didn't break one of my belongings?

"Clare," he said, watching my face. He didn't look worried, or regretful, for doing that to me. He looked proud of himself. Proud that he broke the Christian girl with a Bible on her nightstand; the girl that prays when she thinks of a certain vampiric green-eyed boy named Eli Goldsworthy.

I opened my mouth to respond, but my breath was immediately stolen, lips plundered by the lips of the object of my affections; the boy that haunts my dreams and makes me pray, probably now five times more than normal. From the corner of my eye I saw the Bible, resting quietly though tauntingly next to my bed. There's always time to pray for forgiveness for sinning later. A kiss couldn't hurt.

And then my eyes closed in pure bliss.

* * *

_Back to the wall_

_On my silhouette_

_When you walked right by_

_Felt your breath on my neck_

_And it felt so deep_

_In a trance of a sleep_

_Have I seen you before?_

_Once in a dream._


	3. flashback, sneak attack, chain reaction

**Disclaimer**: So not mine.

Um, yay? This one's really short, and really bad. Sorry for the inconvenience. XD Well whatever, it's an update... right? Don't hurt me...

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AWKWARD

I startled awake at the sound of my alarm clock. My eyes burned with the, what, hour? I got of sleep. I was so tired. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the day -

Wait. Where's Eli? I patted the empty spot next to me and sighed - it must have been a dream. That makes two dreams about him in one night. This is getting bad.

I shivered when a breeze blew through my room and wrapped my blanket around me tighter, wishing I could just curl up and sleep through the day and hope another dream doesn't haunt me.

Then I realized. My window is open. I know for a fact that my window was closed before I passed out; I wasn't _that_ out of it. So, does that mean...?

_No, Clare, Eli Goldsworthy was not in your room last night. Don't be preposterous._

I sighed and forced myself out of bed. My eyes fell on my Bible on my nightstand before I walked over and shut my window, closing all ridiculous thoughts from my head. I need to stop daydreaming about Eli.

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Mom dropped me off at school, didn't question anything, so Eli must have definitely been a dream. It's getting pretty depressing, the fact that I can't even decipher the difference between dreams and reality anymore. That dream, though... it just felt so... real. A blush crept up my neck and covered my face in red. _Stop it, Clare_.

I said goodbye to my mom and shut the car door. Taking a breath I stepped through the doors of Degrassi Community School, hoping it doesn't get awkward with Eli. I can never tell him about these dreams. He'd be so smug, it's disgusting. He'd tease me about it forever.

"Hey, Clare!"

I turned to see Adam catching up with me. I smiled, thank goodness it wasn't Eli. "How are you, Adam?" After he told me and Eli about Gracie, and we completely accepted it without a single problem or second thought, he's opened up more. I've grown to realize that I love his smile. It's... contagious.

"I'm great," he said, grinning. "Seen Eli yet?" I felt the blush coming back and let my hair cover as much of my face as I could. "He's been talking about you since he came in today."

"I -" I turned away, hiding my blush. "He has?"

I could tell Adam was about to respond, but he immediately stopped himself as he stared at something behind me. "'He has', what?" I turned around and came face to face with Eli, smirk glued to his perfect face, one eyebrow cocked. I forced myself not to squeal. Clare Edwards does not squeal. But I couldn't say the same for swooning. This boy made me melt.

"Oh, n-nothing, Eli," I managed to sputter out, giving him a feeble smile. I could tell from the look in his eyes that he didn't believe me, but he let it drop anyway, of which I was thankful for. I changed the subject quickly and asked, "S-So, what did you two do last night?" I tried not to decipher what it meant when his smirk widened. His eyes were intent on me. I felt hot all over again, like I was going through last night again, a flashback, though it was just a dream.

"Just, uh, hung out at home," Adam said awkwardly, "you know, _chilled_." It was cute when Adam really tried. He always managed to make me smile.

I turned back to Eli and all he did was smirk a 'You know what I did, Blue Eyes' smirk. I quickly averted my gaze. Adam shrugged and spoke again, "What about you, Clare-bear?" he teased, letting my nickname slip. This was also cute. It aggravated me when anyone else called me it, but Adam had this... innocence that I couldn't say no to.

"O-Oh, well, I worked on my English paper and -" Eli and I locked eyes, his sparkling as if to provoke a challenge. I declined. "- went to bed early. You know. What us 'bookworm' types do," I laughed without humor and walked ahead. If that wasn't an awkward conversation, I don't know what was. "I'll, uh, see you later, you two!" I ducked into a classroom and busied myself immediately. No more confrontations, please... It would make my sin so much easier. I can repent this way, without sinning all over again.

The things you do to me, Eli Goldsworthy. Lord, where are you when I need you?

* * *

_Like a flashback, sneak attack, chain reaction_

_At the first sight you just might be the right one_

_You got something (and again) like a rerun_

_Try but can't explain this chain reaction._


End file.
